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Ribster

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Have I mentioned on the ol blog that we’re having a bit of a raccoon issue at our house?

I grew up in the middle of nowhere.  Long gravel roads, lots of trees, lots of land, screens in the windows optional, just generally the middle of nowhere.  And do you know that in that time we never had a single raccoon come in the house?  Black snake? Perhaps. Neighbor’s dogs? Definitely.  But not one raccoon.

I now have a house key and a sidewalk and it appears that we have a raccoon.  Scratch that.  We HAVE a raccoon.  And he’s ballsy.  He (she?) comes in after dark, helps himself to the cat food, does some splishing and splashing in the water bowl until he feels that he has thoroughly cleaned behind both ears and, from what I gather, is taking measurements of our kitchen to send to his interior decorator, Diana, so that the space will be just so when he moves in full time.

At first the mere sight of us would send him waddling.  Then our dog Grace took over and she would chase him out and, apart from the small heart attack that I would have at 3am when Grace would suddenly bolt down the hall barking at full force, things seemed to be ok.  Then there was one night that Grace was at my parent’s and the raccoon quickly realized that it was just me and him and the cat food.  He looked at me with a great deal of misplaced smugness, turned his back on me and went to town on the cat food.  Do you know what I did?  I knocked him silly with a broom.  I did, I whacked the s*it out of him, and he took the hint and headed out the door.  That seemed to take care of the problem for a little while, but then Grace passed away, and the raccoon didn’t take long to wise up and start deciding which corner he wanted to set his cigar chair in again.

How is this raccoon getting in?  Well,  I drew you a picture:

Up until this past weekend, the raccoon was a nuisance, but not especially destructive.  I would even go so far as to say that I was not overwhelmingly concerned with his occasional intrusion.  Well. WELL. We spent the night with friends on Saturday night and all I can say is, if any of you got an invitation to the rodent rager that was hosted in our kitchen and didn’t post pictures to facebook because you didn’t want us to find out about it?  The jig is up.

Ya’ll, the raccoon(s???) went bonkers in our kitchen.  They ate taco shells, they broke wine glasses, they opened cabinet doors, they bathed their muddy little feet in the sink and then WALKED ALL OVER OUR COUNTERS, they took empty tupperware containers out and spread them around, they lounged on the stairs and snacked on gold fish crackers and discussed the underwhelming amenities of our kitchen, I’m sure.  In fact, as I spent all of Sunday afternoon scalding every square inch of our kitchen, I could almost hear their little raccoon laughter hanging in the air around me.  They appeared to have a better time we have had in years, and Drew and I are pretty awesome at having a good time.

But guess what, Raccoon?  We’ll see who gets the last laugh.

Consider yourself warned.

Full Circle

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Here I am in the fall of 1983 shortly after my first birthday:

And here Asher is in the fall of 2011 shortly after his 2nd birthday:

Some things never change.

 

Gold

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This is happening in our front yard right now.

It takes my breath away every time that we pull up to our house.

I can’t stop taking pictures of trees–this might be the only time that my phone picture gallery doesn’t like an exclusive tribute to Asher.  Everywhere we turn, more. gorgeous. trees.  I can’t help it, I feel ridiculously thankful to live in this part of the country this time of year, and as I’m getting older the feeling is just getting more and more intense.  This is the time of year that I get all googly eyed over sweaters and firewood and turning the oven on and calling people inside to bring in more light as the darkness of winter creeps closer and closer.  Where Spring finds us throwing open doors and longing for the smell of dirt and the open road, Fall turns us back to the nest, back to the home, back to something essential in the heart.  And I love that it’s fleeting and that it is to be cherished and that I don’t feel like too big of a dork stopping mid stride to snap a picture.  Really, there’s little not to love.  Happy Fall, Ya’ll!

Before we get too far from October

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I better get these out…

At the first sign of a crispy cool Fall morning we headed up to the local apple orchard to pick (up) a pumpkin, undo the previous week’s good eating habits with apple doughnuts, and slurp down some hot apple cider.  Well that’s what I did anyway…if you ask Asher we went up there and saw a tractor, a digger, a big truck, and he’ll concede that there were indeed doughnuts involved.

Asher was very ambitious in his choice of pumpkins:

So Drew came up with these tiny pumpkins and the villagers toddlers rejoiced:

No matter how you slice it, pumpkin patches and children and gorgeous Fall mornings are a ridiculously charming slice of perfection.


letting go

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We had to let go of our precious Gracie dog after 8 years.

It has taken me 2 weeks to try to write this post, I just deleted 8 paragraphs that I wrote immediately after about how we loved that dog and why, and how confusing it is to feel such sadness over a pet.  I wrote too much only to realize that I will never need to be able to look back at a blog post to remember her–Grace is so closely woven into the first decade(ish) of our lives together that she will always be a presence when we look back, and that will trump 8 paragraphs any day of the week.

Mary Oliver wrote,

I don’t know exactly what a prayer is.
I do know how to pay attention, how to fall down
into the grass, how to kneel down in the grass,
how to be idle and blessed, how to stroll through the fields,
which is what I have been doing all day.
Tell me, what else should I have done?
Doesn’t everything die at last, and too soon?

(from “The Summer Day”)

and I can think of nothing that so clearly expresses what I love about the presence of mind that dogs bring into our lives.  To our Grace.

The big 0-2

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I am going to attempt to catch up on the last—ah–month or so with a series of 4 posts.  Part one, consider yourself written.

Our baby boy is 2.  In our house, the morning of September 11, 2011 could not just be about hushed memories of where we were 10 years ago, because in our lives, it simply can’t be.  Instead, we talked about where we were 2 years ago.  We walked through the story, looked at the spot in the living room where I rocked back and forth in labor knowing that a little child who was on the inside was about to come out, we told Asher about his quick arrival, and remembered the date that is affectionately known as the day of 10,000 kisses in my mind, the day that we became parents.

Asher remembers this as the day that he gets to eat cake.  In fact, he has not forgotten about cake, and asks daily if there might be more cake to be had.  For a week after his birthday every time the fridge door was cracked, Asher would snap his head in its direction and ask hopefully, “firetruck cake?” knowing that more chicken or pasta was most likely in his immediate future.  One turns two, one falls madly in love with banana cake, one faces the cruel truth that daily cake eating is not part of one’s immediate reality.

It may not win any awards, but I'm going to shamelessly say that I am disproportionately proud of this cake.

We had a sweet little party in our back yard for Asher.  My stepmother, little sister, mother, and Drew largely made this party happen.  While I was furrowing my brow over a bowl of frosting and a hunk of cake, they were weeding and spreading mulch (I’m not kidding), potting plants, wrangling and thoroughly entertaining the birthday boy, and generally making our house go from drab to fab.  I don’t know how anyone does anything without a crew, or at least how I would do anything…they were birthday superstars.I loosely put together a firetruck party for Asher which meant that everything was in primary colors and we had a firetruck cake.  We pulled out all of our yard water toys and tossed in some bubbles, stripped the kiddos down and let them run around.  I also used this as an excuse to buy 34543 balloons because honestly, balloons make everything more festive.

So…two.  Our little boy is two and so full of two-ness.  He’s talking and talking and he likes to go fast on the bike and he wants to do everything himself, he has people that he talks about constantly and calls ‘special’, he wants us to tell him stories about trains and horses, he has a favorite color (yellow) and a favorite toy (Yellow The Red Bear–Drew came up with that one) and about a zillion favorite things to do around the house.  He likes pasta until the second that he doesn’t want it anymore, he can take his own shoes off (and almost put them back on) he still snuggles with his mama, he can count on one hand and sing a very adorable, very incomprehensible version of the ABCs.  Our late walker is now a bumbling, enthusiastic runner, he loves drawing and making art more than any other part of his day at school and he can finally say ‘helicopter’.

I like living with a toddler.  More specifically, we love living with Asher.  Drew and I, incorrigible saps that we are, look over our little carrot-topped child and come this close to choking up on a daily basis.  We’re so shocked by all of the human-ness that comes out of this little human, and we still struggle to wrap our minds around the notion that Asher is something that we created.  We created him, and yet he’s so much his own little vision.

We’ll never get over that, will we?

So Asher is two, he’s been in our lives since I first learned of his mysterious presence one night in February of 2009.  He’s so big and so little, learning so much with such a long road in front of him, toeing the line between baby and little boy.  It’s possible to say that although our story is a great one, we never knew how much love the two of us possessed until we knew him.

Happy Birthday precious boy.

Did I get a special shirt made for Asher’s party?  Um, yeah, I did.  It’s ok.

Digging in.

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First, a little story.  My dear friend Charlotte had (has?) juvenile arthritis as a child and had to spend time in the hospital when she was three.  On the day of discharge, Charlotte’s mom said, “ok kiddo, when we get out of here, we can do anything you want. Anything at all!” with visions, I’m sure, of an ice cream stand or a toy shop.  Charlotte looked at her mom and asked confidently, “can we go home and put on some David Bowie records and dance in the living room?!” and that’s exactly what they did.  That makes me love children even more. (And Charlotte.  And David Bowie.)

What I’m trying to say here is that we’ve got some changes happening around the Walton world.  Drew is plugging away in his Nurse Practitioner program at UVA in addition to being on the faculty for the school of nursing and working full time.  Saying that Drew is busy is kind of like saying that chocolate is the greatest food that has ever been invented, which is to say, it’s indisputably true.  Drew’s week starts when he heads in for the night shift on Sunday evenings and ends in May of 2013.  The amazing thing about Drew though is that he’s on this crazy 24 hour schedule that involves working, learning, AND teaching, and yet he’s still here.  He’s still on the floor playing with trains, he’s still leaving me the random love note, he’s still reminding me that we have so much to be thankful for.

In this way, I’m tightening up too.  I’ve also got some changes ahead and for the first time in a long time I’m feeling like I have two feet under me, two eyes on the horizon, two hands able to make it all happen.  We’re all digging in around here.  Eyes on the prize.

***

Right now we sit at the table before Drew heads to work and we sit as a family of three and hold hands and say ‘Thank you for our blessings’.  Asher loves this and we often have to stop about every minute and half as Asher reaches for our hands again and smiles at his captive audience before coyly saying, ‘dank doo bessing’ with a giant grin.  I realized for the first time last night that we hadn’t actually talked about what we were saying when we said thank you like this every day and so I started chatting with Asher about everything around us that is a blessing.  Asher caught on quickly and started pointing to everything around him and asking…Milk, blessing?  Water, blessing? Chicken, blessing? and then more shyly, Mama, blessing?  Papa, blessing? and for each of these we would say yes! we are so lucky to have milk, we are so fortunate to have water, we are so blessed to have food, etc.  When he started asking about the people we said that yes, all of the people in our life were so special and then he looked at us and without a hint of question he said, Asher! Blessing!

And Drew and I looked at each other and we looked at our joyous little son with bar-b-que sauce on his forehead and YES! Asher is a blessing!

***

I remember literally having the bottom fall out of a grocery bag in front of our house last year around this time and sitting on the ground next to the mess crying my eyes out because I couldn’t feel life being easy.  I simply couldn’t feel it.  I didn’t see a point out there somewhere where I would feel powerful again.  I could see Drew’s path, I could see Asher’s path, and despite being technically successful, when I thought about myself I saw a lot of fuzzy grey blurry stuff accentuated with some more grey stuff and some more blurry edges.  I think this is the identity shift that happens in the year after having children…I wasn’t a(n enormous) glowy pregnant woman anymore, I wasn’t a mother to an infant anymore, I was still a wife, I had a teensy bit more confidence and freedom with regards to loving and raising Asher, but as far as the internal person that I hang out with everyday commonly known as me?  I just couldn’t get a sense of her.

I don’t feel that way anymore.  I can’t say that it was one big epiphany, that no more grocery bags have broken (well, actually yes, I can. No more grocery bags have broken, but you know what I’m saying here) or that I’m dancing with Rainbow Bright and Strawberry Shortcake at every turn, but somewhere in the midst of taking it day by day, I am starting to see what is ahead, and more than just feeling good about it, I know it.  I have a sense of it again.

***
Things are changing.  We are not spinning our wheels, we are not getting lost in the cacophony of sameness, we are noticing the seasons changing, we are seeing faint lines appear at the corners of our eyes, we are delighting in toddler ankles emerging under hems that were too long mere weeks ago.  I think as humans we can vacillate between worrying that things will never be the same and worrying that we will never be able to make a change.  This is funny, right?  But I think that I am finally at a point where I can appreciate all of the work that has gone into the stability that Drew and I are creating for our family, and all of the possibilites and freedom that will be born out of this foundation.

And really, I get to sit down every day and say thank you for our blessings with two men that seem to inherently understand the power of that statement more than anyone else I’ve ever known, and if that doesn’t make my feet tingle with a sense of purpose and destination, I don’t know that anything ever will.

So thanks Charlotte for reminding me that kids are adorable, and thanks Drew for being an all around rock star, and thank you Asher for loving to say thank you, and thanks life for giving me the kick in the pants that I needed to remember that actually everything is a-ok.

Oh, and thank you David Bowie for being you.  Yessir.

Inside Voice

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(By the infinitely clever and wise Shel Silverstein)

I was thinking about a post about listening to my internal barometer and then came across this poem kind of randomly tonight and realized that this sums it all up nicely.  I’ve also decided that I will be wallpapering my children’s rooms, cars, lunch boxes, gym bags, prom dress lining, back pack interior, and everything thing else that I can think of with these little reminders, but for right now, I’m pretty sure that I’m the one that needed to see it.

 

Woking out.

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Asher will be 2 in less than 3 weeks (what!?) and I have been delighting in the fact that when people start to talk about the Terrible Twos I’ve been able to say, “Well, Asher’s really more of a ‘yes’ man, and so far he’s been a dream”.

Smugness is a social crime, team, and I’m serving my time.

Here’s what our Sunday sounded like:

“YAY! Asher! That’s so good! You’re such a goo—ASHER! PLEASE do not get on the coffee table. That’s right, climb down. That’s very good baby, thank you for being a goo—ASHER! What did mama JUST say? NO sir, you may not—that’s right. Thank you sweet boy, than—ASHER! That is dangerous! Didn’t I just tell you to please NOT get on…”

And then it sounded like this:

“WWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH”

And then I stepped on a toy train and said, “ah shoot! dang! durn! darn!” because I live with a parrot and my sailor days are slowly slipping away.  Durn?  Durn just does not cut the throbbing-foot-mustard, you know?

So it would seem that indeed the terribleness of the twos is the constant constant constant boundary pushing.  I say no, I calmly explain why (you’ll bonk your head, baby) I distract and divert and take a beat and ask myself WWMPD? (What would Mary Poppins Do) and at some point I yell a booming and terrifying NO, right after he bites my arm and smiles at me, and put him in his crib for time out–for both of us–and then when I pick him back up he pats my cheek and asks for the “twains? book? weed?” (Trains? Book? Read?) as if I didn’t just yell at him and close him in his room and I melt and feel like a major butt.

Terrible twos indeed.  The things is, some bigger picture part of me knows that this is par for the course and that Asher has to do all of this but…I don’t especially like looking at the clock and thinking, 45 minutes until bath time.  I know that every single parent out there has made that mental calculation, I know that I have a lot more of those moments in my future, and I completely get that part of parenting is providing boundaries and being the one to keep an eye on the prize as the full-speed-ahead ramming of those boundaries occurs.  But I also get why parenthood drives people to drinking.  You know that tired definition of insanity?  Doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result each time?  Well, I think it’s fair to say that toddlers are insane.  That insanity is mostly awesome when on a less intense scale it’s lovingly described as insatiable curiosity, but there is a fine line between being curious and just being difficult, and for the very first time (though certainly not the last!) I got to cruise that second gauntlet this weekend.

And of course the other completely cliche but nonetheless amazing thing about this whole scenario?  After all of the no-ing, the tears, the redirecting, the endless stream of parenting drivel that I hear myself saying all afternoon, after all of that, Asher will do 30 things exactly right with heart-melting conviction and sweetness and I see the gorgeous child and get all gooey and silly over him because he’s such an awesome kid and because he’s our kid.  He’s our kid that is determined to break his head open super-manning off the coffee table, but he’s also our kid that looked at me yesterday and spontaneously said, “Ashers yuves mama” (Asher loves mama) and told me that submarines swim in the water and birds and planes fly in the sky.  He’s the kid that’s not quite two that started asking to potty all on his own about 3 weeks ago.  And my favorite right now?  He’s the kid that wakes up in the middle of the night begging not for mama or papa, but to be woked, because it feels good to have someone you love slip in in the dark and rock you for a minute before going back to sleep.

How do you describe it as anything other than a roller coaster?   Highs and lows and then….HIGHS!!…and then…LOWS!!…and then…3 tiny seconds of normalcy and then…HIGHS!!…and then…

and I know that some part of me was smiling as I was hopping around holding my throbbing foot and saying, “didn’t I JUST ask you…” and watching the clock because this is my favorite job that I’ve ever had and even though my boss is a little demanding and disrespectful at times, I would sign up for this every single day of the year if asked to do it again.

But Asher, if it’s 2030 and you’re reading this right now?  I’m completely confident that I still enjoy massages and large vases of peonies.
You hear me, son?

point and shoot

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I thought I’d purge some of my phone pictures tonight and get them from the land of apps and into the land of…blogging?  I think that I think of my phone as a camera almost more than an actual phone and I love being able to snag pictures in an instant and then scroll through later to see what I caught on ‘film’ whenever I’m missing my boys.  This is an aspect of 21st century living that I adore.

So here’s what the phone’s been seeing lately:

The young sir post-bath one night, clearly full of his usual business:

Next…I went with some friends to check out CLAW (Charlottesville Lady Arm Wrestlers) which is a highly entertaining local charity event.  Lady arm wrestlers assume their very (funny) intimidating characters and wrestle it out with brute strength, bribing of the judges, dance offs, selling of costume pieces and anything else that might get them into the winner’s seat, all in the name of benefiting various local good causes. On the night that we went we arrived in time to see Tragedy Anne (below) beat Eve of Destruction but ultimately lose to Homewrecker:

CLAW is becoming a national phenomenon, though it will always have its roots in Charlottesville, but if you have a moment, I highly suggest you check out local photographer Billy Hunt’s collection of lady arm wrestler photos…you won’t be disappointed that you did!

While there I also snagged this self-portrait in a chrome bar stool:

And moving right along, here are some of the various pastoral scenes that have caught my eye out and about in the world:

(isn’t Virginia lovely?)

And of course more Drew and Asher.  These are from a post-dinner walk on the nearby Monticello trail last week:

And…let’s see…what else?  Well this isn’t from my phone, but please welcome the newest member of the household, Dorothy:

We snagged this little Beta from the pet store, and while “Bishey” (Asher’s version of ‘fish’) was an ok name, we were reading an Elmo Goes to School book (can you guess the plot of that story?) and there is mention of Elmo’s fish Dorothy in it.  Asher pointed to our little blue beauty and declared that we will call him Dorothy.  So far Dorothy has been a sublime housemate, although he seems to be on a bit of a hunger strike so I’m hoping that he’s got all of his fins in this world and isn’t about to go to the great fishbowl in the sky.  Asher loves feeding him as a daily chore and has been very good about not knocking the bowl, and so far Mabel the fat cat hasn’t paid him any mind either.  Drew and I are both enamored with Dorothy’s lovely colors and the way that he starts swimming like crazy whenever we come into the room.  Surely he missed us?

So that’s the phone purge and the introduction of Dorothy to the internet.  We’ve got plans for a low key weekend after a couple of weeks of going full speed.  Asher is newly obsessed with trains, so we will likely walk down to the train tracks and talk endlessly about “Bahdness” (Thomas the Train) and savor the surprisingly cool August temperatures.

Have a good one!

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