First a note from Management:
I have never ever ever ever been pulled in as many directions or as busy in my adult life as I have been in the last two months. There’s not another way to say it. It’s been fine, just hectic, and there were a couple of days in there where I was having some trouble breathing, but by and large it’s just been a laundry list of this, and then that, uh oh! that too, oh! and also this…and if I’m being totally honest, I go to bed by about 10 every night (you know, just after I drink my prune juice and watch Matlock) so there’s that too. The blog got the busy shaft, and some day I’m going to be reading back and saying, ahhhhh yes. May and June of 2012…holy wow that was total insanity. Some things just don’t really need to be preserved.
One of the things that we’ve been doing involved a lot of faxing and phone calls and signing and drumming of fingernails and holding of breath because we bought a house. Wait, sorry, gimme a second shot on that. We bought a house!! After a 3 day closing we finally signed the dotted line and let our breaths out.
We bought this house and I can’t wrap my mind around it. It’s walls and a place to be but it’s also…
And not just roots in the sense that we’re rooted per se, who knows what the future holds, but it’s roots in the sense that there’s a place to finally soak up everything that pours out of this family, and now we are in a space where we might be able to actually wring it all back out too. In the 5 days that this house has been ours, it has absorbed so much already. Most notably a lot of paint, but beyond that, it’s absorbed hugs from friends and gallons of our parent’s sweat, and the sound of Asher laughing maniacally as he runs across the yard. In just 120 hours, this house has ballooned out with ambition and ideas and what ifs and oh yes! and maybe this can go there? and bad radio that helps the paint brushes keep time, and let’s knock down that wall and look! raspberry bushes! It’s only taken 7200 minutes for this house to become a Walton.
In this way, it’s kind of like we’ve both developed a really big crush on the same person and now we’re all in the glow of young love all over again. Bear with me, but this has absolutely nothing to do with light fixtures and square footage and closet space, and everything to do with the feeling of making one more knot in the rope that binds our life together. Much like when Drew and I looked and Asher and then looked at each other and felt that little click of knowing that we were permanently bound to one another, we are now standing and staring at oak trees and thinking, click.
Boxes are getting packed, our ridiculously amazing parents are spending hours helping us turn a house into our home, windows are wide open, and in all of it, I just look around in awe at how much is pouring out and getting soaked up. The usual suspects of blood, sweat, and tears are there, but also…profound gratitude, relief, giddiness, anticipation, gratitude, excitement, gratitude–those are there too.
Maybe it’s that I’m finally cresting the wave and easing down its other side, but right now, I can breathe again. I am freaking out about watching new light wash over new leaves. When we stand in the yard we don’t hear other people and car radios and firetrucks, we just hear birds and wind. There’s a bear that wants our garbage and squeaky floor boards under the stairs. Asher begs Drew to lift him up so that he can put a basketball through the basketball net, and there isn’t a stick of furniture in the house, but the fridge is full. We are full. We are breathing.
I’m so thankful that I haven’t written about the last two months so that this entry might just be what I remember. There was a storm, and then the clouds broke, and then we could see all that was before us.